The Mind of Faith

2003-05-30T00:57:00.000-04:00

I've been getting down
About all the runaround
About all the questioning
And the standing in the night
But like my friends say
You got to do it anyway
And it just gets harder
When you ask why

And I'm tired from all the weight
Tired of being strong
So won't you come and stay
And let me lay
Down in your arms
Down in your arms

I've been getting up early
I've been getting my coffee
I've been getting in the car and driving
All over town
Talking to myself
While I'm taking off my seatbelt
Some people don't know how to slow down

And I'm tired from all the weight
Tired of being strong
So won't you come and stay
And let me lay
Down in your arms
Down in your arms

I've got a troubled
A troubled mind
And you've got a heart
A heart so kind
So kind

So pack an over night bag
Don't worry about what you have
Cause if you need something
You can just use mine
And you don't have to promise
More than you want to
But if you want to see me
This would be a good time

Cause I'm tired from all the weight
Tired of being strong
So won't you come and stay
And let me lay
Down in your arms
Down in your arms
~Catie Curtis Troubled Mind

2003-05-16T04:22:00.000-04:00

Say goodnight Not goodbye You will never leave my heart behind Like the path of a star I'll be anywhere you are In spark that lies beneath the coals In the secret place inside your soul Keep my light in your eyes Say goodnight not goodbye Don't you fear when you dream Waking is never what it seems Like a jewel buried deep Like a promise meant to keep You are everything you want to be So just let your heart reach out to me I'll be right by your side Say goodnight not goodbye You are everything you want to be so just let your heart reach out to me Keep my light in your eyes Say goodnight not goodbye Say goodnight not goodbye ~Beth Neilson Chapman

2003-05-12T00:45:00.000-04:00

talk me down safe and sound
too strung up to sleep
wear me out scream and shout
swear my time's never cheap
i fake my life like i've lived too much
i take whatever you're giving not enough
overground watch this space
i'm open to falling from grace

2003-05-08T22:00:00.000-04:00

You're dangerous and you don't even know it.......

2003-05-06T21:29:00.000-04:00

"hitting things and a whole lotta jack d dulls it some"

2003-05-06T21:28:00.001-04:00

"say the word and she's a footnote in history. i'll make it look like a painful accident"

2003-05-06T21:28:00.000-04:00

Tonight's ep of Buffy was awesome. I can't believe it'll be over in two weeks. The best best part? Spike's speech to Buffy. OMG was it sweet!!!!!

"I've made alot of mistakes alot of wrong bloody calls and there's only one thing I've ever been sure of You When I say I love you it's not because I want you or because I can't have you it has nothing to do with me I love what you are what you do how you try I've seen your kindness and your strength I've seen the best and the worst of you and I understand with perfect clarity what you are You're a hell of a woman You're the one"

2003-05-01T03:04:00.000-04:00

Jack: this is crazy
Rose:I know. It dosent make any sense, thats why i trust it

2003-05-01T00:56:00.000-04:00

I do swear that I'll always be there I'd give everything and anything and I'll always care through everything weakness and strength I love you with every beat of my heart

2003-04-30T23:13:00.000-04:00

I couldn't think of someone that i'd rather see i couldn't think of any place that i'd rather be i thought i knew you once before when you cast your spell on me someone cut my past baby let it bleed

2003-04-30T04:23:00.000-04:00

Willow: She is. And... there's something between us. It wasn't something I was looking for. It's just powerful.

Tara: Whatever, you know, happens. I'll still be here. I'll still be your friend.
Willow: Of course, we'll be friends. That's not even a question.

2003-04-29T23:19:00.000-04:00

i wanted to be like you i wanted everything so i tried to be like you and i got swept away i didn't know that it was so cold and you needed someone to show you the way so i took your hand and we figured out that when the time comes i'll take you away if you want to i can save you i can take you away from here so lonely inside so busy out there and all you wanted was somebody who cares i'm sinking so slowly so hurry hold me your hand is all i have to keep me hanging on please can you tell me so i can finally see where you go when you're gone if you want to i can save you i can take you away from here so lonely inside so busy out there and all you wanted was somebody who cares all you wanted was somebody who cares if you need me you know i'll be there if you want to i can save you i can take you away from here so lonely inside so busy out there and all you wanted was somebody who cares please can you tell me so i can finally see where you go when you're gone

2003-04-29T23:03:00.000-04:00

so i'm a little left of center i'm a little of tune some say i'm paranormal so i just bend their spoon who wants to be ordinary in a crazy mixed up world i do'nt care what they're saying as long as i'm your girl hey you were on my side and they just rolled their eyes you get me when nobody understands you come and take the chance baby you get me you look inside my wild mind never knowing what you'll find still you want me all the time yeah you do yeah you get me so what if i see the sunshine in the pooring rain some people think i'm crazy but you say it's ok you've seen my secret garden where all of my flowers grow in my imagination anything goes i am all you want they just read me wrong you get me when nobody understands you come and hold my hand baby you get me you look inside my wild mind never knowing what you'll find still you want me all the time yeah you do cause you get me hey you were on my side they just rolled their eyes yeah yeah yeah cause you get me when nobody understands you come and take the chance baby you get me when none of the pieces fit you make sense of it you get me you look inside my wild mind never knowing what you'll find still i want you all the time yeah i do cause you get me

2003-04-29T22:57:00.000-04:00

Turn it inside out so i can see the part of you that's drifting over me when i wake you're never there and when i sleep you're everywhere please tell me how i got this far please tell me why you're here and who you are cause every time i look you're never tehre and every time i sleep you're always there cause you're everywhere to me and when i close my eyes it's you i see you're everything i know that makes me believe i'm not alone i'm not alone i recognize the way you make me feel i start to think you may not be real since the water's getting deep i try to wash the pain away from me cause you're everywhere to me and when i close my eyes it's you i see you're everything i know that makes me believe i'm not alone i'm not alone it's now that we begin you always light my way there never comes a day no matter where i go i always feel you so cause you're everywhere to me and when i close my eyes it's you i see you're everything i know that makes me believe i'm not alone i'm not alone when i catch my breath it's you i breathe you're everything i know that makes me believe i'm not alone you're in everyone i see so tell me do you see me?

2003-04-28T19:48:00.000-04:00

"A life without love is no life at all" never was there a truer quote. Well, maybe there was. But that one sure as hell is damn true.

2003-04-28T19:45:00.000-04:00

All songs that I posted today are dedicted to you-all-know-who. ;) love ya!

2003-04-28T19:40:00.000-04:00

know all about about your reputation and how it's bound to be a heartbreak situation but I can't help it if i'm helpless every time that i'm with you you walk in and my strength walks out the door say my name and i can't fight it anymore oh i know i should go but i need your touch just too damn much loving you isn't really something i should do shouldn't wanna spend my time with you i should try to be strong but baby you're the right kind of wrong might be a mistake a mistake i'm making but what you're giving i am happy to be taking cause no one's ever made me feel the way i feel when i'm in your arms they say you're something i should do without they don't know what goes on when the lights go out there's no way to explain how the pleasure is worth all the pain loving you isn't really something i should do shouldn't wanna spend my time with you i should try to be strong but baby you're the right kind of wrong yeah baby you're the right kind of wrong i should try to run but i just can't seem to cause every time i run you're the one i run to can't do without what you do to me i don't care if i'm in too deep know all about your reputation and how it's bound to be a heartbreak situation but i can't help it if i'm helpless every time when i'm with you you walk in and my strength walks out the door say my name and i can't fight it anymore oh i know i should go but i need your touch just too damn much loving you isn't really something i should do shouldn't wanna spend my time with you i should try to be strong but baby you're the right kind of wrong baby you're the right kind of wrong baby you're the right kind of wrong.

2003-04-28T19:26:00.000-04:00

I don't like to be alone at night and I don't like to hear I'm wrong when I"m right and I don't like to have the rain on my shoes but I do love you but I do love you I don't like to see a sky painted gray and I don't like when nothing's going my way and I don't like to be the one with the blues but I do love you but I do love you Love everything about the way you're loving me the way you lay your head upon my shoulder when you sleep and I love to kiss you in the rain I love everything you do oh I do and I don't like to turn the radio on just to find I missed my favorite song and I don't like to be the last with the news but I do love you But I do love you Love everything about the way you're loving me the way you lay your head upon my shoulder when you sleep and I love to kiss you in the rain I love everything you do oh I do and I don't like to be alone at night and I don't like to hear I'm wrong when I'm right and I don't like to have the rain on my shoes but I do love you but I do love you but I do love you but I do love you... ;)

2003-04-28T01:54:00.000-04:00

you've got to give a little take a little and let your poor heart break a little that's the story of that's the glory of love you've got to laugh a little cry a little until the clouds roll by a little that's the story of that the glory of love as long as there's the two of us we've got the world and all it's charms and when the world is through with us we've got eachother's arms you've got to win a little lose a little yes and always have the blues a little that's the story of that's the glory of love that's the story of that's the glory of love

2003-04-28T01:50:00.000-04:00

Every night in my dreams I see you I feel you that is how I know you go on Far across the distance and spaces between us you have come to show you go on Near, far where ever you are I believe that the heart does go on Once, more, you open the door and you're here in my heart and my heart will go on and on Love can touch us one time and last for a lifetime and never let go till we're gone Love was when I loved you One true time I hold to In my life we'll always go on Near far where ever you are I believe that the heart does go on Once, more you open the door and you're here in my heart and my heart will go on and on You're here there's nothing I fear and I know that my heart will go on We'll stay forever this way you are safe in my heart and my heart will go on and on

2003-04-28T01:37:00.000-04:00

Never knew I could feel like this Like I've never seen the sky before Want to vanish inside your kiss Everyday I love you more and more Listen to my heart can you heart can you hear it sing Telling me to give you everything Seasons may change winter to spring but I love you Until the end of time Come what may Come what may I will love you until my dying day Suddenly the world seems such a perfect place Suddenly it moves with such a perfect grace Suddenly my life doesn't seem such a waste And there's no mountain to high no river to wide Sing out this song and I"ll be there by your side Storm clouds may gather and storms may collide but I love you I love you Until the end of time Come what may Come what may I will love you until my dying day oh come what may come what may I will love you I will you Suddenly the world seems such a perfect place Come what may Come what may I will love until my dying day

2003-04-28T01:31:00.000-04:00

"Desperate for changing Starving for truth I'm closer to where I started I'm chasing after you I'm falling even more in love with you letting go of all I've held onto I'm standing here until you make me move I'm hanging by a moment here with you Forgetting all I'm lacking completely incomplete I'll take your invatation you take all of me Now I'm falling even more in love with you letting go of all I've held onto I'm standing here until you make me move I'm hanging by a moment here with you I'm living for the only thing I know I'm running and I'm not quite sure where to go I don't know what I'm diving into just hanging by a moment here with you There's nothing else to lose there's nothing else to find there's nothing in the world that can change my mind there's nothing else there's nothing else Desperate for changing Starving for truth I'm closer to where I started I'm chasing after you I'm falling even more in love with you letting go of all I've held onto I'm standing here until you make me move I'm hanging by a moment here with you I'm living for the only thing I know I'm running and I'm not quite sure where to go I don't know what I'm diving into just hanging by a moment here with you hanging by a moment hanging by a moment here with you"

2003-04-28T00:03:00.000-04:00

"Dear my love haven't you wanted to be with me Dear my love haven't you longed to be free I can't keep pretending that I don't even know you and at sweet night you are my own Take my hand we're leaving here tonight there's no need to tell anyone they'd only hold us down so by the morning's light we'll be halfway to anywhere where love is more then just your name I have dreamt of a place for you and I no one knows who we are there All I want is to give my life fully to you I dreamt so long I can not dream anymore let's run away I'll take you there Leaving here tonight There's no need to tell anyone they'd only hold us down so by the morning's light We'll be halfway to anywhere where no one needs a reason Forget this life come with me don't look back you're safe now unlock your heart drop your god no one's left to stop you forget this life come with me don't look back you're safe now unlock your heart drop your god no one's left to stop you now We're leaving here tonight there's no need to tell anyone they'd only hold us down so by the morning's light we'll be halfway to anywhere where love is more then just your name"

2003-04-26T06:17:00.000-04:00

"Don't look if you don't look then it's not real"

2003-04-25T23:48:00.000-04:00

"While they did live happily ever after, the point is that they lived."

2003-04-25T23:40:00.000-04:00

"A life without love is no life at all"

2003-04-25T04:59:00.000-04:00

I'm under your spell It's magic I can tell you you've set me free brought me out so easily I saw a world enchanted spirits and charms in the air I always took forgranted I was the only one there But your powers showed brighter then any I know I'm under your spell Nothing I can do you just took my soul with you You worked your charms so well Finally I knew everything I dreamed was true you make me believe

2003-04-23T17:47:00.000-04:00

Are we done for now,
Or is this for good,
Will there be something in time?
With us there should.

Only girl for me is you
There can be no other one
If I didn't have faith
I would come undone

So much promise in your eyes
Seems that I can only see
It always makes me wonder
If you save it all for me

Maybe you do
Maybe you don't
Maybe you should
Probably wont...

Because there will be...

There will be other guys
Who will whisper in your ear
Say they'll take away you sadness
And your fears

They may be kind and true
They may be good for you
But they'll never care for you
More than I do

I'll be always there
There to the end
I can't do much
But be your one true friend

To the end
Through the end
Our lives to spend
With each other till the end
Of time...

Still see the promise in your eyes
And still wonder if it's for me
But i know it's still there
Even when you sleep

So I say, good night sweet girl

2003-04-22T23:51:00.000-04:00

Matt: She's like Tara you have to wait before you can share her.

2003-04-22T05:48:00.000-04:00

Back at school. First day of classes today. My profs were all glad to see me which was cool. I got a few grades back. All a's one b which was cool. One was even over a 100 hehe. Ain't I smart? I've been in a good mood all day. Just got done talking to Kt. I'm always in a good mood after I talk to her. It's 5:45 now and I can't sleep. Luckily I don't have classes tommarow. Or Thursday. I've decided to stay here and extra day or so so that I don't have to drive home alone 5hrs. and so that I can pack and get some work done. I just don't want to drive home alone 5hrs. It doesn't interest me after all the crap that's been going on lately. I really should go to bed but I just can't sleep. Listening to O.A.R. instead. Dang Jim for getting me hooked lol Maybe I'll watch Harry Potter. Second DVD. Woohoo! lol HP is great and wonderful. So's Buffy. Unfortunetly there's only 4eps of it left. Then the wonderful world that is the Buffyverse is gone for good. :( I'm so just rambling. Oh well. I'm gonna go listen to music or something. Faith over and out.

2003-04-22T04:41:00.000-04:00

"from this day on I swear to you true..."

2003-04-22T04:40:00.000-04:00

"i've been broken but this time is gonna change this time I swear to you true from this day on"

2003-04-22T04:02:00.000-04:00

"Life is crazy I feel hazy Life is amazing"

2003-04-22T04:00:00.000-04:00

"I'm feelin' kinda funky kinda fine"

2003-04-22T03:57:00.000-04:00

"I coulda died but I chose to live here instead"

2003-04-20T01:40:00.000-04:00

If you're gonna jump hey you hang on If you feel like giving up hey you hang on I won't forget today the sun is bright sky is blue yeah The pain'll go away in another year or two If you got a phone hey you call home If you got a voice hey you rejoice I won't forget today sun is bright sky is blue I won't forget to pray day is night world is new yeah The pain'll go away in another year or two In a hundred years or two If you're gonna fly hey you don't cry You gotta live to die hey you good bye I won't forget today sun is bright sky is blue yeah I won't forget to pray day is night world is new yeah The pain'll go away in another year or two in a hundred years or two in a thousand years or two ~The Clarks

2003-04-10T16:19:00.000-04:00

Vincent will you teach me how to pain Theresa will I ever be a saint John I really think you songs are great I was born too late William will you teach me how to write and Cacious will you show me how to fight Thomas A I think I see the light I was born tonight I've had a hard time leaving this town I been losing everything that I found I'm gonna search the sky kiss the ground build it up and tear it back down I've had a hard time leaving this place I been counting all the lines on my face gonna curse the sky hit the ground what goes up comes tumbling down Jimmy show me how you play that thing and Elvis will I ever be a king Jerry all the joy and love you bring I was born to sing Martin Luther King show me the way Jesus Buddha teach me how to pray Christopher I think I see the bay I was born too late I was too late ~The Clarks

2003-04-09T20:00:00.000-04:00

Ever felt like you're the one everyone always turns to when they're having problems, even when you're having your own problems, and sometimes it's just too much? I mean yeah, you like to help them, but sometimes you wonder if you can handle it all. You still want to help them but with your own problems it makes things even harder to try and help other people. That's kinda how I feel right now with all my friends. I want to help them desperately but I feel like I'm failing them cause of my own problems. I just don't know if I can handle it all at the moment, though I try to. I want them to keep coming to me for help it just seems like so much to deal with on top of everything else. It's all so confusing. lol I'm messed up... I just hope they don't read this and stop coming to me with their problems cause I do want to help more then anything. I just think I suck at it right now.

2003-04-09T19:52:00.000-04:00

I wanted to be like you I wanted everything So I tried to be like you and I got swept away I didn't know that it was so cold and you needed someone to show you the way so I took your hand and we figured out that when the time comes I"ll take you away If you want to I can save you I can take you away from here So lonely inside so busy out there and all you wanted was somebody who cares I'm sinking slowly so hurry hold me your hand is all I have to keep me hanging on Please can you tell me so I can finally see where you go when you're gone If you want to I can save you I can take you away from here So lonely inside so busy out there and all you wanted was somebody who cares All you wanted is somebody who cares If you need me you know I'll be there If you want to I can save you I can take you away from here So lonely inside so busy out there and all you wanted was somebody who cares Please can you tell me so I can finally see where you go when you're gone ~Michelle Branch

2003-04-09T19:47:00.000-04:00

So I'm a little left of center I'm a little out of tune Some say I'm paranormal so I just bend their spoon Who wants to be ordinary in a crazy mixed up world I don't care what they're saying So what if I see the sunshine in the pouring rain some people think I'm crazy you say it's ok In my imagination anything goes ~Michelle Branch

2003-04-07T19:01:00.000-04:00

Special hi and hugs to Katie :)

2003-04-07T18:56:00.000-04:00

Yet again my life has spun out of control. I just spent the past week in the hospital trying to get my meds straightened out. Yes, I was in the hospital. I am so sick and tired of having to hide everything from people. I'm just going to say stuff flat out from now on. It's just so much easier and so much better. Not that I've lied in the past, I've just hid things. No more. Just gonna lay things out there flat. Now I've missed a full month of school and am onto the fifth week. I have no clue how I'm going to make up all the work. Missing three weeks is what helped lead to this last break down. I'm hoping that when I go back I don't have yet another breakdown but who knows. We'll just have to see. I'm home now for at least the next week, probably two. Hopefully I'll get better and be able to handle stuff.

2003-03-26T17:10:00.000-05:00

New section added called other writing. Basically, it's other writing I've done. Short stories mainly. Right now there's one story up. I'll add more when I have time. My goal is to eventually have all my writing (that I have copies of....) online.

2003-03-24T23:47:00.000-05:00

New poems.

2003-03-23T22:23:00.000-05:00

Smile........

2003-03-23T22:20:00.000-05:00

Two new poems up on the poem page.

2003-03-22T22:37:00.000-05:00

2003-03-21T17:04:00.000-05:00

I have a theory it doesn't matter. What can't we face if we're together? What's in this place that we can't weather? Hell...we've all been there. The same old trips why should we care? What can't we do if we get in it? We'll work it through within a minute. We have to try. We'll pay the price. It's do or die. Hey, I've almost died many times. What can't we face if we're together? What's in this place that we can't weather? There's nothing we can't face.

2003-03-21T16:58:00.000-05:00

I've done things...bad things...things I'm not proud of...things I can never take back...but the time has come for me to fight on the side I was meant to fight on...be who I was meant to be...be what I was meant to be...I am the chosen...I am Faith...

2003-03-21T16:55:00.000-05:00

Life's a show and we all play our parts and when the music starts we open up our hearts It's all right if some things come out wrong we'll sing a happy song Where there's life there's hope every day's a gift Wishes can come true you work so hard all day to be like other girls to fit in in this glittering world Don't give me songs Don't give me songs Give me something to sing about I need something to sing about Life's a song you don't get to rehearse and every single verse can make it that much worse Still my friends don't know why I ignore the million things or more I should be dancing for All the joys life sends Family and friends All the twists and bends knowing that it ends Well that depends on if they know enough to know that when you've bowed you leave the crowd

2003-03-20T02:40:00.000-05:00

So we're at war........

2003-03-18T19:51:00.000-05:00

I've added a bunch more to the poetry page, including some stuff that isn't poems. I was trying to put up a page with a story I wrote awhile ago, but blogger's being a not nice blog thinger and won't let me. Stupid git. I don't know what's wrong with it. The stuff I put up is older, from 2001, but it's still mine. No stealing!!

Life's insane. As usual. I've got a ton of work to do and no idea how I'm going to do it. The Mortar Board National Honors Society initiation ceremony is this weekend so my parents are coming up. My grandparents still want me to visit them this April and I really want to go but don't know if I'll be able to yet. I'm really hoping I will be able to, but we'll see. Work comes first.

I found my summer dream job, working at a mental hospital for teens. I wrote up a resume and crap so now I have to mail that and hope I get a call for an interview. I want this job sooooo bad, I've wanted it for years.

Time to do some work. Faith over and out.

2003-03-12T22:21:00.000-05:00

Great ep of Angel on tonight. God I love Faith. Maybe that's why I'm named after her lol Good quotes too. Here are some of them....

"look how you turned out I guess you didn't have much to work with"
"I know how it feels Hurts to be someone you're not Hurts to the bone Trying to bury the pain but you can't get the hole deep enough No matter how much you dig it's still there Broken shards stabbing every time you breathe cutting you up inside You know there's only one way to make the pain stop..."
"Still looking for someone to beat the bad out of you? But you know what the funny part is? I could beat you to death and it wouldn't make a difference it wouldn't change who you are You are horrible you are bad and you can't help it, you can't change it"
"You haven't changed, you can't You're sick you've always been sick It goes right down to your soul You should have been put down years ago"

2003-03-12T10:51:00.000-05:00

Women suck literally. Men suck figureatively. It's worse the way men do it.

2003-03-11T12:10:00.000-05:00

Well I was just laid off from my part time on campus job. Seems they're cutting hours. And they cut mine. I no longer have a job. I suck. My life sucks.

2003-03-10T23:23:00.000-05:00

I can't believe it....I got a freakin B on my journalism midterm. I hate B's. I was about ready to cry. In my mind, only A's are ever good enough. I got an A on my history test. A perfect score, 50/50, but it was ruined by that B in jrnl. I seriously almost cried in class when I saw that grade. Took my ethics test. I don't think I did so great on it. Everything is starting to go wrong again. Things were good for about a month, now they're starting to go to hell again. I don't know what I'm going to do. I can't take this crap again. Anyone out there have any ideas? I sure don't. ::sigh::

2003-03-09T20:26:00.000-05:00

So spring break is over. Man that went fast. I spent most of the time doing school work. Oh. How. Fun. Did get to see a few of my friends though which is always a good thing since I miss when I don't get to see them. Tommarow I get to take a wonderful ethics exam. Half my grade. I'm so screwed. On the plus side I ended up acing the history test I thought I failed. A's are always a good thing. Anyway, I drove 5hrs today and am tired so I'm going to go take a nap before I do some studying. Over and out.

2003-03-02T01:15:00.000-05:00

I've added some new poetry to the poetry page. I'm on spring break with a ton of work and stuff to do so I may not be updating this as much.

2003-02-23T18:49:00.000-05:00

"i hope she falls off a log
that's situated conveniently at the edge of the planet"

This season of Angel
"maybe if we have alot of fucking and fighting and toss in a potty mouth angelous and have faith popping in then out they won't notice that hell, we just fucking suck and cc's knocked up!!"

This season of Buffy
"maybe if we add 17 new people and toss in faith...we'll get an idea...or there'll be enough people that they won't notice that the whole thing made not a bit of friggin sense since ep 4 or so"

2003-02-23T15:55:00.000-05:00

~I linger in the doorway of alarm clock screaming monsters calling my name let me stay where the wind will whisper to me where the raindrops as they're falling tell a story In my field of paper flowers and candy clouds of lullaby I lie inside of myself for hours and watch my purple sky fly over me Don't say i'm out of touch with this rampant chaos-your reality I know well what lies beyond my sleeping refuge the nightmare I built my own world to escapte In my field of paper flowers and candy clouds of lullaby I lie inside myself for hours and watch my purple sky fly over me Swallowed up in the sound of my screaming cannot cease for the fear of silent nights Oh how I long for the deep sleep dreaming The goddess of imaginary light~

2003-02-23T01:12:00.000-05:00

evanescence: Ev`a*nes"cence\, n. The act or state of vanishing away; disappearance; as, the evanescence of vapor, of a dream, of earthly plans or hopes.

2003-02-22T18:54:00.000-05:00

I actually managed to sleep last night! No sleeping pills. And eleven hours. My alarm went off after nine but I figured hell, I haven't slept all week, I'm sleeping some more, screw it. So I did. Sleep is so friggin good.

I feel like shit today. Women should have the option of being men for a week each month. As Elise said, men should trying bleeding through their genitals for a week each month then not dying afterwards. It is so not fun and you feel like total shit the whole friggin time. Plus you gain weight that week and are all bloated. It sucks sucks sucks sucks SUCKS!!! I hate it. Plus you get bitchy. Did I mention that? Hehe

Right now I'm avoiding doing work. I have a ton to do for Monday. I have 6 major quizzes and exams this week, plus a ton of reading and other stuff due. Oh how NOT fun. Spring break starts Friday though. Woohoo! I'll get to see some of my friends over the break. Yay! Not many though. I really wish I could see alllllllll of you cause I love all of you sooo much. You're all great and wonderful and my Scooby crayon gang. Ok. Enough stalling. Off to working I go. Leave me some comments. And sign my guest book people!

2003-02-21T23:24:00.000-05:00

Second poem is put up. Comments on any writing are welcome. Not that anyone even reads any of this.

2003-02-21T17:09:00.000-05:00

I've added one new poem to the poetry page. Going to add another one later tonight. Also you will notice that all the pages, other then this one, now have the same template. Yes, I redid eveeeeeeeeeeeerything so that it now matches. Go me! I will write more later. I promise. :)

2003-02-20T14:24:00.000-05:00

If you could see me now The one who said that she'd rather roam The one who said she'd rather be alone If you could only see me now If I could turn back the hands of time I've been too long in the wind Too long in the rain Taking any comfort that I can Looking back and longing for the freedom of my chains If you could hear me now Singing somewhere through the lonely nights If you could only hear me now I've been too long in the wind Too long in the rain Taking any comfort that I can Looking back and longing for the freedom of my chains ~Dixie Chicks

2003-02-19T21:54:00.000-05:00

So far so good class-wise. Though I do have a freakin ton of work. Which really sucks. At least I'm up to date, minus one quiz which I can take whenever, in one class. And I should be caught up in another class by Monday. That just leaves...three. Ugh. Someone save me!!!! Spanish, PR II, and Ethics are totally over whelming. I have a ton of stuff to do before spring break. Then during. Then after. Dear lord how am I gonna do it all? Ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh.

2003-02-18T16:21:00.000-05:00

Well isn't this just ducky?? I finally get back to school only to get sick and have to miss class today. Isn't this great? So now I've missed MORE class cause of a damn virus thing. And the dr. put me on a liquid diet. Like I feel like eating anything anyway. Oh well. At least I'll lose weight...

2003-02-18T12:25:00.000-05:00

LifeHouse....

I'm finding my way back to sanity...again...though I don't really know what I'm gonna do when I get there
Take a breath Hold on tight Spin around one more time and gracefully fall back to the arms of grace
Cause I am hanging on every word you say and even if you don't wanna speak tonight that's allright with me
Looking past the shadows in my mind into the truth and I'm trying to identify the voices in my head
God which one is you?
Let me feel one more time what it feels like to feel and break these callouses off of me one more time
I don't want a thing from you
Bet your tired of me
Waiting for the scraps to fall off of the table to the ground
I just wanna be here now

2003-02-18T12:13:00.000-05:00

"Don't Let Me Get Me" by Pink...Faithized....hehe

Never win first place
I don't support the team
I can't take direction
My parents hated me
I was always in a fight cause I can't do nothing right
Every day I fight a war against a mirror cause I can't take the person starring back at me
I'm a hazard to myself
Don't let me get me I'm my own worst enemy
It's bad when you annoy yourself
So irritating
Don't wanna be my friend no more
I wanna be somebody else
Dr won't you please prescribe me something
A day in the life of someone else cause I'm a hazard to myself
Don't let me get me
I'm my own worst enemy

2003-02-17T22:59:00.000-05:00

I love the movie Pete's Dragon...always have. Watching it again tonight. This song and "I'll be your candle on the water" have always been my two favorites. However, I'm too lazy too type both, so I'm just typing this one which is lesser known hehe The "..." means another person is singing (it's a duet) or that both are singing. I'm not gonna label parts cause hell, it doesn't much matter. It's a song about friends and I've just always liked it. My aunt got me this tape when I was 10, 11 years ago, so it's pretty dang old now. But it's still going and I still watch it. Here's the song. I don't know the name off hand.

"he has the head of a camel the neck of a crockadile...it sounds rather strange...he's both a fish and a mammal and i hope he'll never change cause it's not easy to find someone who cares...it's not easy to find magic in pairs...i'm glad i found him i love him i'll never let him get away cause it's not easy...you say the head of camel the neck of a crockadile...and the ears of a cow...it's clear that friends can be different yes i understand you now...it's not easy to find someone who cares it's not easy to find magic in pairs... now that you have him hold him treasure him from day to day it's so easy... life is lollipops and raindrops with the one you love someone you can always be with argue and agree with...climb the highest tree with...it's not easy to share somebody's dream it gets easy when you work as a team you gotta tend it fan it.. that's what i plan to do i had one friend by my side now i have two him and you...him and me...and it's so easy..."

2003-02-17T13:12:00.000-05:00

I was talking to Matt about lava lamps and got an interesting response....seems his frat boy room mate last year decided to taste the lava in one...

"now to be honest I never actually witnessed this, but I've been told by several sources, they had a lamp, dismatled or broke it I don't remember, and he licked some of the lava, then had to chug a beer."

I'm glad I don't have a room mate. I like my lava lamp as-is. lol

2003-02-17T12:44:00.000-05:00

Old counter died. So even though it's close to 200, I'm now back to 0. Oh well. What can ya do?

2003-02-17T11:06:00.000-05:00

You can now add your own quote to the changing quote thing above....but I can delete it if I want so it better not be something that'll piss me off!!!

2003-02-17T09:36:00.000-05:00

The links don't work yet......I don't know why.....and my quote of the week is wonky.....don't know why....damn blog....damn html.....damn damn damn with a FUCK for good measure.....

2003-02-16T14:54:00.000-05:00

New set up here.......so bear with me while I learn to use it and set it all up. Thanks!

2003-01-26T05:08:00.000-05:00

~And I'd give up forever to touch you cause I know that you feel me somehow You're the closest to heaven that I'll ever be and I don't wanna go home right now When all I can taste is this moment and all I can breathe is your life sooner or later it's over I just don't wanna miss you tonight And I don't want the world to see me cause I don't think that they'd understand When everything's made to be broken I just want you to know who I am When you can't find the tears that ain't coming or the moment of truth in your lies When everything feels like the movies yeah you bleed just to know you're alive
~When I was young I knew everything and she a punk who rarely ever took advice now I'm guilt stricken sobbin with my head on the floor stop a baby's breath and a shoe full of rice Can't be held responsible For the life of me I can not remember what made us think that we were wise and we'd never compromise for the life of me I can not believe we'd ever die for these sins we were merely freshman My best friend took a weeks vacation to forget her His girl took a weeks worth of valium and slept Now he's guilt stricken sobbin with his head on the floor thinks about her knowin how he never really wept he said Tried to wash our hands of all of this we never talk of our lacking relationships and how we're guilt stricken sobbin with our heads on the floor Fell through the ice when we tried not to slip we'd say it can't be held responsible won't be held responsible For the life of me I can not remember what made us think that we were wise and we'd never compromise for the life of me I can not believe we'd ever die for these sins we were merely freshman
~I'm standing on a bridge Waiting in the dark There's nothing but the rain no footsteps on the ground I'm listening but there's no sound Isn't anyone trying to find me Won't somebody come take me home It's a damn cold night trying to figure out this life won't you take me by the hand take me somewhere new cause nothing's going right and everything's a mess and no one likes to be alone
~I wish I was smarter I wish I was stronger I wish it'd been easier Instead of any longer I wish I coulda stood where you woulda been proud But that won't happen now There's a whole lotta singing that's never gonna be heard disapearing everyday without so much as a word Think I broke the wings off that little song bird she's never gonna fly to the top of the world now I don't have to answer any of these questions Don't have no god to teach me no lessons I wish I'da known you Wish I'da shown you all of the things I was on the inside I'd pretend to be sleeping when you come in in the morning To whisper goodbye go to work in the rain I don't know why Don't know why Singing just wanna be heard Disapearing everyday without so much as a word Wanna grab ahold of that little song bird take her for a ride to the top of the world
~Please come now I think I'm falling I'm holding on to all I think is safe Seems I found the road to nowhere and I'm trying to escape I yelled back when I heard thunder but I'm down to one last breath and with it let me say Hold me now I'm six feet from the edge and I'm thinking maybe six feet ain't so far down I'm looking down now that it's over reflecting on all of my mistakes Thought I found the road to somewhere I cried out heaven save me but I'm down to one last breath and with it let me say Hold me now I'm six feet from the edge and I'm thinking maybe six feet ain't so far down I'm so far down Sad eyes follow me I don't believe there's something left for me So please come stay with me I don't believe there's something left for me Please come now I think I'm falling I'm holding on to all I think is safe.
~Lying here on the floor I think I took too much I'm crying here What have you done I thought it would be fun Can't stay on your life support there's a shortage in the switch can't stay on your morphine cause it's making me itch Tried to call the nurse again but she's being a little bitch I think I'll get out of here Where I can run just as fast I can to the middle of nowhere to the middle of my fucked up fears And I swear it's just like a pill instead of making me better it keeps making me ill
~I will remember you Will you remember me Don't let your life pass you by Weep not for the memories Remember the good times that we had let them slip away from when things got bad Clearly I first saw you smiling in the sun I wanted to feel your warmth upon me I wasn't the only one and I will remember you will you remember me Don't let your life pass you by weep not for the memories I'm so tired but I can't sleep Standing on the edge of something much too deep Funny how I feel so much but cannot say a word I am screaming inside but can't be heard And I will remember you Will you remember me don't let your life pass you by weep not for the memories
~Everybody's got something they had to leave behind one regret from yesterday that just seems to grow with time there's no use looking back or wondering how it could be now or might have been I never had a dream come true
~Who can say where the road goes where the day flows only time
~When you're crying I'll be there to dry your tears and constantly reassure you that you have nothing to fear. But if you think otherwise here are my words, just in case, telling you that this world can't knock you down as long as I'm behind you, and even after I'm gone I'll come back to find you. I may be gone, but I won't be gone for long. I'll be with you everytime you hear that song. I'll never wave goodbye because goodbye means forever and I'll never leave your side. You're stuck with me forever, even after the memory of my face begins to fade out of your mind. I'll do anything to protect you. I'll be here catch you when you fall. And when you sit and think about it, I'm not really gone at all.

2002-12-14T05:23:00.000-05:00

The WEIRDEST thing happened tonight!!!!!!! I still can't believe it myself!!! Lately I've felt this presence hanging around. I told you all it was my aunt, but that's cause I didn't want to admit that I don't know who the heck it was. But I knew she was connected to my aunt some how. So I'm talking to my friend KT. I'm telling her about this girl. Then she says maybe it's someone you used to know. And BAM I see the girl, a dark night, slippery road, a car slide off a road, and the word "death." I'm like holy shit!! Then I start thinking...lately the names Madelyn and Madeline have been going through my head and I didn't know why. Like it was supposed to be there but wasn't right.....then I type "Magdelyn" and KT's like I had a friend name Magdelyn who died. She died in a car wreck in 96 etc.....and goes on to explain what I saw. I'm just like holy shit!! And tell KT IT"S HER!! and she's like huh? I said it's her. The girl is Magdelyn. KT describes what she looked like. It's the same girl I've been seeing. Then this stuff starts going through my head. Dec. 19. And I'm like ok....KT when did she die? KT says Dec. 19. Which is also when my aunt died, hence why she's been saying she's connected to my aunt. Then I say May/June. KT thinks for a min. and says that's when we met, and then when we became friends. Then I see "5. 55" over and over. I ask KT's about the number "5". She says Magdelyn's license plate had two 5's in it. I ask if she had a nickname. She says yeah she called me Katty. All this stuff had been going through my head. KT's like omg I'm like omg. So yeah, I was talking to my friend's dead friend tonight. Who's still hanging around. It's the weirdest thing. I still can't believe this happened. And believe me, I didn't ask KT leading ?'s. She was saying exactly what I was seeing. It all matched exactly. Even the fact that Magdelyn was older then her. Freaky stuff man. Freaky. I'm thinking Dec. 19 this year is gonna be interesting..........

2002-12-12T02:32:00.000-05:00

From the Naughty Board.....

Twas the night before apocalypse and throughout Sunnydale
Evil creatures were stirring and were sure to prevail
The vampires were hunting for those last little sips
before returning at dawn to their sewers and crypts
The Hell-mouth grew restless and started to yawn
and I feared that my last breath soon would be gone
the demons became joyous, the zombies did clap
with thoughts that us mortals would take the dirt nap

when out in the dark there arose such a noise
tearing the night like the peace it destroys
I peeked out my window as I crouched on the floor
and wished I had listened and nailed shut my door
the moon looked sick with its glow bloody red
but it lighted enough to see things as they feed
then the last that I saw as my tears started to flow
was a miniature Slayer with 6 scoobies in tow

with a low cut halter and her lewd behavior
I knew in a flash it was Buffy my savior
more vapid than stooges her gang they came
and she screamed and yelled and called them by name
"look out Xander! Now Willow! Duck William the Bloody!
Run Anya! Ow Giles! Please Dawny, be a quick study!
Off with their heads! We'll make the scum crawl!
Now slash away! Slash away! Death to them all!"

And then with a shivering I heard from my cellar
the mewing and scampering of some little queller
I gathered my courage at least all that I found
then jumped out the window to the Slayer and ground
She was dressed in black leather from her head to her tail
her hair and her make-up perfect in every detail
A crossbow and stakes she carried in her sack
She looked like a psycho that just smoked some crack
Her eyes - - how they menaced! Her legs how they kicked
her fists were like puppies her victims they licked.

I ran to her side, circled arms round her belly
and didn't even noticed how her sweat made her smelly
She loosened my arms and hurled me towards the beasts
like a gifty wrapped present for their unholy feasts
I thought she was crazy or at least had gone nuts
but I heard her exclaim, as they tore out my guts
"I hope that you die you sick little fucker
and that goes even double for your big brother tucker"

2002-12-11T19:49:00.000-05:00

Kate sent me this..

WEB ADDICTION HOLIDAY SING ALONG!

(Sung to the tune of "Winter Wonderland")

Doorbell rings, I'm not list'nin',
From my mouth, drool is glist'nin',
I'm happy -- although
My boss let me go --
Happily addicted to the Web.
All night long, I sit clicking,
Unaware time is ticking,
There's beard on my cheek,
Same clothes for a week,
Happily addicted to the Web!

Friends come by; they shake me, Saying, "Yo, man!
Don't you know tonight's the senior prom?"
With a listless shrug, I mutter "No, man;
I just discovered laugh-a-lot-dot-com!"
I don't phone, don't send faxes,
Don't go out, don't pay taxes,
Who cares if someday
They drag me away?
I'm happily addicted to the Web!

Happ-ilyyyyy, ad-dict-eeeed to the Weeeeeb!!! (Yeah!)

2002-12-11T04:11:00.000-05:00

What you feel is what you are and what you are is beautiful.

You painted up your secrets with the lies they told to you The least they ever gave you was the most you ever knew You wonder where dreams go when the world gets in your way What's the point in all this screaming? No one's listening anyway Your voice is small and fading and you're hiding in your room Your mother loves your father cause she's got no where to go She wonders where these dreams go cause the world got in her way What's the point in ever trying Nothing's changing anyway They press their lips against you and you love the lies they share They tried so hard to reach you but you're falling anyway You know I see right through you cause the world gets in your way What's the point in all this screaming no one's listening anyway...

Broadway is dark tonight. A little bit weaker then you used to be. Broadway is dark tonight. See the young man sittin in the old man's bar waitin for his turn to die. The cowboy killed the rock star and Friday night's gone too far the dim light hides the years on all the faded girls. Forgotten but not gone. You drink it off your mind you talk about the world like it's someplace that you've been. You'd love to run home but you know you ain't got one cause you're livin in a world where you're best forgotten around here. Broadway is dark tonight. A little bit weaker then you used to be. Broadway is dark tonight. See the young man sittin in the old man's bar waitin for his turn to die. You choke down all your anger forget your only son you pray to statues when you sober up for fun. Your anger don't impress me. The world slapped in your face. It always rains like hell on the loser's day parade. When you're think your a joke and you think nobody will listen to the one small point I know they've been missin around here.

Let's pretend my January friend.

You've gotta bear your cross and never dream too loud. Realize your crime.

Are you alive? Am I gone? Is it too late to call and tell you to be strong? Was the poison in our blood there all along? Am I gone? Heavenly intoxication. Ain't it funny how a life can take a turn when the end is near? Is it too late to face the truth that it was wrong? Am I gone? I ain't wishin for a miracle that miracle's gone wrong. It's too strong. Am I gone?

I've had to fight. Waiting for the light of day. It will never come.

2002-12-11T03:46:00.000-05:00

I know that you are going through a hard time at the moment. Life can be torture, depressing, long, difficult. However, I know all this. You dont have to put on a brave face for me. I've been here the whole time, remember?~Tara

2002-12-10T05:30:00.000-05:00

From a conversation with Leelee:
"Lesbians taste like chicken."
"The happy white pony tastes like sperm."
"One two three light like a birdy four five six you fuck like a girly."
"The elephant tastes like....crank?"
"Lawn gnomes taste like rubber cement."
"Hamsters taste like elmer's glue."
"Get a shoebox and go long."

Yes, we are nuts. But it's just so damn furkin funny!
I got a call tonight from my friend Jen. I haven't talked to her since this summer. It was great to hear from her and talk for hours. Course the whole time Leelee was like "can I call yet?." hehe it's great to be fought over. Needless to say, soon as I got off the phone with Jen, Leelee called so I didn't get much work done tonight. Oopss...means I got alot to do tommarow. 'Specially studying for my 105 final on Wed....something I haven't started doing yet.... Bad me. I go home in less than a week. Yay. Fun. Happy thought. Not.
I'm still working on my PR campaign. It's tons of work, but even more fun. Hopefully I'll get a good grade on it. And on my finals... Anyway, back to work. So here's Faith, wishing you a good night good dreams and a happy Tuesday, signing off.

2002-12-06T16:12:00.000-05:00

The 12 Days of Christmas...Buffy style :)

On the first day of Christmas

The Hellmouth sent to me:

The First from underneath me

On the second day of Christmas

The Hellmouth sent to me:

2 Souled Vamps

and a The First from underneath me

On the third day of Christmas

The Hellmouth sent to me:

3 SIT’s (Slayers in training)

2 Souled Vamps

and The First from underneath me

On the fourth day of Christmas

The Hellmouth sent to me:

4 Lovesick Scoobies

3 SIT’s

2 Souled Vamps

and The First from underneath me

On the fifth day of Christmas

The Hellmouth sent to me:

5 Wooden Stakes

4 Lovesick Scoobies

3 SIT’s

2 Souled Vamps

and The First from underneath me

On the sixth day of Christmas

The Hellmouth sent to me:

6 Shapes a shifting

5 Wooden Stakes

4 Lovesick Scoobies

3 SIT’s

2 Souled Vamps

and The First from underneath me

On the seventh day of Christmas

The Hellmouth sent to me:

7 Boys a chanting

6 Shapes a shifting

5 Wooden Stakes

4 Lovesick Scoobies

3 SIT’s

2 Souled Vamps

and The First from underneath me

On the eighth day of Christmas

The Hellmouth sent to me:

8 Kids for counseling

7 Boys a chanting

6 Shapes a shifting

5 Wooden Stakes

4 Lovesick Scoobies

3 SIT’s

2 Souled Vamps

and The First from underneath me

On the ninth day of Christmas

The Hellmouth sent to me:

9 Writers writing

8 Kids for counseling

7 Boys a chanting

6 Shapes a shifting

5 Wooden Stakes

4 Lovesick Scoobies

3 SIT’s

2 Souled Vamps

and The First from underneath me

On the tenth day of Christmas

The Hellmouth sent to me:

10 New from Siring

9 Writers writing

8 Kids for counseling

7 Boys a chanting

6 Shapes a shifting

5 Wooden Stakes

4 Lovesick Scoobies

3 SIT’s

2 Souled Vamps

and The First from underneath me

On the eleventh day of Christmas

The Hellmouth sent to me:

11 Ubers vamping

10 New from Siring

9 Writers writing

8 Kids for counseling

7 Boys a chanting

6 Shapes a shifting

5 Wooden Stakes

4 Lovesick Scoobies

3 SIT’s

2 Souled Vamps

and The First from underneath me

On the 12th day of Christmas

The Hellmouth sent to me:

12 Watchers dying

11 Ubers vamping

10 New from Siring

9 Writers writing

8 Kids for counseling

7 Boys a chanting

6 Shapes a shifting

5 Wooden Stakes

4 Lovesick Scoobies

3 SIT’s

2 Souled Vamps

and The First from underneath me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

***From the NB***

2002-12-05T05:50:00.000-05:00

It seems that everything and everyone has ganged up to drive me freakin insane. And it's working. Thank God (Joss) for the few friends that help keep me from totally losing it. It's currently snowing outside. Rather heavily. I love watching it snow. From my window I can see one of those big light pole things they put in parking lots, which is good cause it lights up the snow falling around it so I can see it better. I'm hoping classes will be cancelled today, or at least delayed. I'm still trying to finish my stupid lit paper that both Katie and Elise said is good, but I think is shit. More shit keeps going down with school and friends. I really think I'm neglecting friends at this point and I feel horrible about it. Hard to keep up with everything though. Less then two weeks left of school. I don't really want to go home though. Here's home. There is just...there. Yeah, that probably doesn't make any sense to anyone but me. Oh well. Just over a month till I turn 21. I want to get a new driver's license then too, so that mine won't say under 21 until blah blah anymore. I have one paragraph left to write of my essay. Why do I keep stalling?? I could have it done and be in bed right now. Probably cause I can't think straight. Stupid headaches and lack of sleep. Ok, I'm gonna go try and finish my shitssay. This is Faith, over and out, 10-4.

2002-12-04T17:05:00.000-05:00

You found hope you found faith. Found how fast she could take it away. Found true love. Lost your heart. No you don't know who you are. She made it easy. She made it free. Made you hurt till you couldn't see. Sometimes it stops. Sometimes it flows, but baby that's how love goes. You will fly and you will crawl. God knows that even angels fall. No such thing as you lost it all. God knows that even angels fall. It's a secret no one tells. One day it's heaven one day it's hell. It's no fairy tale take if from me. That's the way it's supposed to be. You will fly and you will crawl. God knows that even angels fall. No such thing as you lost it all. God knows that even angels fall. You laugh you cry no one knows why but oh the thrill of it all. You're on the ride you might as well open your eyes. You will fly and you will crawl. God knows that even angels fall. No such thing as you lost it all. God knows that even angels fall. ~Jessica Riddle

2002-12-04T00:56:00.000-05:00

I finally have a counter that should work, instead of the on that died, and the one that only works every now and then when it feels like it. Yay! I also figured out why my text was staying black instead of this color...I was using the wrong code...oopsys...guess one little 0 does matter...hehe

I have so much work due in the next two weeks before break that it's insane. Thanksgiving break was interesting...I was home about 6hrs and was ready to come back lol It doesn't seem like home there anymore. My room here seems like home. Oddly enough, being in that house feels more cramped and smished and constricting then living in one room here. I've decided I like Harry Potter. Harry Potter is a good thing. My friend keeps bugging me about liking Harry Potter. If you read this, and you know who you are, I just have one thing to say...you're a dork. :) hehe I got to see some of my friends over break which was cool. I miss them. :( I wish all my friends could be here with me. That would be cool. It's freezing out. And snowy. I enen have my window closed most of the way. Which is a rare for me. I should be writing a paper right now...but I don't want to. Don't like the topic. It sucks. Majorly. Sucks. For my stupid lit course that I probably didn't even have to take cause I most likely won't get my major. How shitty is that? And now that I think of it...I lost the paper I need to turn in to get my minor. Damn it. I have to find that....is muy importante. That's Spamish. Aren't I smart? hehe Ok. Gotta go. This is Faith, signing off. Over and out good buddy.

2002-12-04T00:27:00.000-05:00

"Gray ceiling on the earth. Well it's lasted for awhile take my thoughts for what they're worth. Your opinion what is that? It's just a different point of view. What else what else can I do? Said I'm sorry yeah I'm sorry. Said I'm sorry but what for? If I hurt you then I hate myself I don't wanna hate myself don't wanna hurt you. Why do you choose your pain if you only knew how much I love you love you? I won't be your winter. I won't be anyone's excuse to cry. We can be forgiven. And I will be here. Old picture on the shelf it's been there for awhile. Frozen image of ourselves we were acting like a child. Innocent. In a trance a dance that lasted for awhile. Read my eyes just like a diary. Oh remember please remember. I'm not a begger but what's more if I hurt you then I hate myself I don't wanna hate myself don't wanna hurt you. Why do you choose your pain if you only knew how much I love you love you? I won't be your winter. I won't be anyone's excuse to cry. We can be forgiven. And I will be here. No I won't be your winter. I won't be anyone's excuse to cry. We can be forgiven. I will be here."~Sister Hazel

2002-11-19T05:25:00.000-05:00

My counter is permanently screwed. I think. Oh well I have bigger problems to deal with. I haven't posted in awhile because I've been going crazy with everything that's been going on. In a few days I'm going home for Thanksgiving...a week at home with no classes. I don't know if that's bad or good lol There's only a few weeks left of the semester. Amazing. This semester seems like it just started. Next Fri. I get to see some of my girls, who I haven't seen in months. I've really missed them. We're going shopping! Something else I've really missed!! I've been doing some Harry Potter comedy improvs with my friend Elise, who thinks they're hilarious. I'm going to put those up in a post when I get a chance. As for now, it's 5:30 am and I've got to be up at 9 for class, and I still have to read a chapter in my text book and get a shower, so I'm signing off for now.

2002-11-05T03:48:00.000-05:00

I've realized my counter isn't accurate. It works about every two days or so for a few hrs...then stops counting again. Isn't that lovely? I'm tired as hell. Trying to write a paper when I really want to be sleeping. I have no idea how I'm going to get up for or stay awake in my classes tommarow. Should be interesting. Over and out.

2002-11-03T05:26:00.000-05:00

The concert last night was absolutely awesome. We were front and center....after getting there two and a half hours early and being first in line. The opening band sucked. I swear, they just played the same song over and over and over. Very boring and dull. And the lead singer didn't have the best language you've ever heard either. And they were stoned. I don't want to know what the guitarist thought he was doing, and as my friend said, the drummer looked like they just gave a monkey a set of drum sticks. Ok, back to homework now.

2002-11-01T00:43:00.000-05:00

Tommarow (yes, I spell it this way. I like it this way so there :P ) is the Clarks concert! Yay! I'm still trying to catch up on school work. My profs have now assigned MORE crap for us to do. Oh. How. Fun. I have to start working on my major PR project, or it'll never get done. I'm thinking of joining choir again. Could be fun. Won't be the same though. Plus, it's a 3hr long class. Which might suck. I'm not sure. It still hasn't snowed here. Which sucks. I'm going to go watch the movie for my Mass Media class. Over and out.

2002-10-30T04:58:00.000-05:00

I just realized the huge amount of stuff I have to do up until Mon. Hell, even after Mon., but I'm not going there yet. The next few days are going to be INSANE. Which is why I'm up at 5am. Trying to do some of the insane amount of homework I have to do so something will be partly out of the way. I've got meetings, appointments, plans with friends, places I have to go, homework, phone calls that must be made, schedule to figure out, see if I can get a minor in english, not to mention tests, papers, and a whole crap load of stuff. I'm telling ya, it's insane. I also have projects that I have to start working on that are due soon. Damn. Too much to do. :( Ok, back to work. I'll write more later. Oh....btw...only 2days till the Clarks concert!! hehehe

2002-10-29T03:54:00.000-05:00

It's almost 4am. And I can't sleep. Even though I only slept 2hrs last night. How much does that suck? Tomorrow......today really....is going to be a day of freakin hell.

2002-10-28T18:06:00.000-05:00

WOOHOO!! I just got the quote thing to work!! Now it only shows up at the top of the page!! Go me!! :) :) :)

2002-10-28T18:03:00.000-05:00

I'm Post-it note girl! I have post-it's all over by my desk. It's insane. I'm addicted to them I think. They're just so easy to use. And fun to stick to things. I have them all along the bottom of my comp monitor...those are the ones with things I have to do that day. Then there's a ton on the desk drawers. Those are for the week. Then the wall is decorated with a bunch of long term stuff, phone numbers, HTML codes for this blog, and whatever else I stick up there. I'm surrounded by post-its. I have pink ones, yellow ones, and a pad of blue ones someplace. I also have a weekly planner, I write stuff in that. Yet I still must have my post-its! hehe

I'm thinking of trying to get my parents to get me a DVD player for Christmas or my birthday. A DVD player would be a good thing. Better quality pictures and stuff. I'm a movie freak too, so a DVD player would be useful cause then they'd last longer then my tapes. My movie collection also needs to be expanded. I'm sick of about 99% of the ones I have. I've watched them over and over and over and over and over. One, the Buffy musical, I wore out. The Scooby Gang now just kina warbles.....and looks funny. It's not a pretty sight.

My Mass Media exam today seemed pretty easy. Which most likely means I failed it, especially since someone I know from the class said he thought it was really hard. Don't you hate that? You'll think you know the stuff, breeze through the test, and then wonder....uh oh....maybe that was TOO easy. That's where I am right now. And not liking it. Tonight I have to try and catch up on my stupid Lit homework, plus study for a huge spelling test (gotta love BJS), and read stuff for PR I quizzes on Thurs., and one for tomorrow. Oh. How. Fun.

I've updated this page a bit. You'll notice the Current Quote part above each of the dates. I can't get it to just show up at the top of the page. It sucks. Gonna have to play with that some more. I've also added a "go to the top of the page" thing at the bottom, and have realized that my counter SUCKS and is totally WRONG. I want to poke it with sticks then burn it. I've also noticed that the comments section is on the fritz half the time...not that you people post comments anyway!!! ::glares:: ::glares some more:: Get the hint?

This is Faith, over and out.

2002-10-27T23:16:00.000-05:00

The "About Me" page is up and working. Still need to add some to it, but hey, it's there.

Most of the stuff I was going to do this weekend did NOT get done. I'm such a slacker. I didn't even wake up till 9 p.m. tonight. Crap...and I just remembered a huge quiz I have tomorrow in my BJS class. Damn it. Well, looks like I'm not gonna finish everything I was going to do this weekend!

2002-10-27T08:14:00.000-05:00

I'm trying to play with the layout of the page some. I've added a new "about me" page to try and keep the side bar less cluttered. Working with other ideas also to try and change things around some.

2002-10-27T07:27:00.000-05:00

It's been a long long time since I looked into the mirror. I guess that I was blind now my reflection's getting clearer. Now that you're gone things will never be the same again. I'm not the same girl you used to know. I know you had to go away. I died just a little and I feel that now you're the one I need. I believe that I would cry just a little just to have you back now here with me. Here with me. You know that silence is loud when all you hear is your heart. I wanted so badly just to be a part of something strong and true but I was scared and left it all behind. I know you had to go away. I died just a little and I feel that now you're the one I need. I believe that I would cry just a little just to have you back now here with me. Here with me. And I'm asking. And I'm wanting you to come back to me, please. I never will forget the look upon your face how you turned away and left without a trace but I understand that you did what you had to do and I thank you. I know you had to go away. I died just a little and I feel that now you're the one I need. I believe that I would cry just a little just to have you back now here with me. Here with me. ~Michelle Branch

2002-10-27T07:11:00.000-05:00

I wanted to be like you. I wanted everything. So I tried to be like you and I got swept away. I didn't know that it was so cold and you needed someone to show you the way. So I took your hand and we figured out that when the time comes I'll take you away. If you want to I can save you. I can take you away from here. So lonely inside so busy out there and all you wanted was somebody who cares. I'm sinking slowly so hurry hold me. Your hand is all I have to keep me hanging on. Please can you tell me so I can finally see where I go when I'm gone. If you want to I can save you. I can take you away from here. So lonely inside so busy out there and all you wanted was somebody who cares.~Michelle Branch

2002-10-26T05:33:00.000-04:00

One of my favorite songs, "Goodbye to You" by Michelle Branch.

Of all the things I've believed in. I just wanna get it over with. Tears form behind my eyes but I do not cry. Counting the days that pass me by. I've been searching deep down in my soul. Words that I'm hearing are starting to get old. Feels like I'm starting all over again. The last three years were just pretend and I said good bye to you. Good bye to everything I thought I knew. You were the one I loved, the one thing that I tried to hold onto. I still get lost in your eyes. And it seems that I can't live a day without you. Close my eyes and you'll chase the thoughts away to a place where I am blinded by the light but it's not right. Good bye to you. Good bye to everything I thought I knew. You were the one I loved, the one thing that I tried to hold onto. It hurts to want everything and nothing at the same time. I want what's yours and I want what's mine. I want you but I'm not giving in this time. Good bye to you. Good bye to everything I thought I knew. You were the one I loved, the one thing I tried to hold onto. Good bye to you. Good bye to everything I thought I knew. You were the one I loved, the one thing that I tried to hold onto. The one thing that I tried to hold onto. When the stars fall I will lay awake. You're my shooting star.